I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
