Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
