i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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