I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
third nipple confirmed
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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