this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize