I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
