I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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