That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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