I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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