How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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