I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
