I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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