Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
