i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
