I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
