I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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