I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
