What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Oh god it's open bar.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
