No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
