I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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