on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
