absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
