Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
