If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
