My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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