she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
