Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
