i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I deserve this hangover.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
