I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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