i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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