What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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