He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
