did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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