My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
