He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
