Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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