I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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