Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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