OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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