My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
