It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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