I just made out with a guy for $7.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize
