Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
