but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she smelled like a LAN party
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
