his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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