Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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