My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
