He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
