We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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