Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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