Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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