Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize