i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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