Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
