I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
