I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My balls are so social today.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
