before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
and she was petting her beer can
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i believe in u and ur pee
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