You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Randomize
