He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
