No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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