More tranny stories later!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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