I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
