Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
