I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
