wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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