He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
