u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
