i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
