STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
