Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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