3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
