She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize