I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
