I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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