I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
