i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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