ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
