Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
